Was I supposed to feel sorry for Mike Muruthi? Not at all. This was all that he deserved. He had paid for his mistakes but unfortunately his mistakes had affected their innocent baby.
My palms were wet with sweat and my heart was pounding so hard that I sensed he could hear it. There were only three more people and we would be next. What would we tell the counselor? That I want to abort our child? There was no sense getting rid of a life just because it’s father is an irresponsible man. I thought as sense started building up in my heart of hearts. There still remained some shreds of humanity inside me and I was not ready to live with guilt for the rest of my life for killing. I had heard those stories of mothers of aborted babies being haunted by their spirits, and I didn't want that to happen to me.
Mike on the other hand pretended to be so calm but I knew he was as nervous as I was or even more given that he was the cause of all this drama. He stole quick glances at me and faced the opposite direction as soon as I noticed it.
“Next” the counselor said as a young man came out of the room.
“I have something to tell you before we get in” said Mike Muruthi as he grasped my wrist. I had no more business with him so I did not respond. Nevertheless, he continued with his monologue.
“You may not believe me and you may never forgive me. But never forget that I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. It is our son with Rita that brought us together but not love. It is you I love Sonie, take it or leave it. Let’s get in now”.
What kind of love hides such important details? This was just another of his big lies and this time I would not fall into the trap again. He can go rot in hell with his so-called love for me. I thought as I pushed the door open.
A youthful, beautiful woman probably in her early forties ushered us in with a broad smile and showed us our respective sitting positions. We sat facing each other and I wondered why she had settled on such a move. I looked at my phone to avoid facing him while he pretended to read a newspaper on the table. For like two minutes, the counselor said nothing but just stared at us and smiled at herself in a seemingly foolish manner. I was already regretting of visiting the place and before I could gather enough courage to match out, she cleared her throat.
“Hello, from the look of things, I can tell all is not well. Who goes fast?” She asked.
“Me” shouted Mike as he stood to narrate his side of the story but the lady ushered him to remain seated. He narrated the whole story beginning with Rita and how they had made out during a leavers’ bash but he was not to blame as they were both drunk. It was his first time to drink and he could not even remember what exactly had happened. When Rita’s parents knew she was heavy, Mike had been forced to take Rita as his wife when he was hardly 19.
Mike had even contemplated suicide and he battled depression for five months. His parents had been so bitter and his father had vowed that he would not pay his fees to join college. His elder siblings scolded him every day and it was his mother who offered to support him morally. His mother took care of the baby and its mother when Mike was in school. Mike however had to find his own means to finance his education given that his mother was only a housewife and then she used the little money she got from chamas to cater for the baby’s needs.
You should have seen how he shed tears and then all of a sudden began to sob as if seeking sympathy. He regretted all that he had done, was remorseful and was willing to start all over again. Can you imagine that? He was so sorry that he had hurt my feeling and betrayed my trust. However, if I forgave him and gave him another chance, he would officially divorce his baby mama and take me as his legal wife. Of course I would hear none of it. He would even change his bank account's next of kin from his mother to his soon to be legally wedded wife!
It was now my turn and I made it clear that I would never forgive him and I had stopped loving him. I would keep my baby and he was not allowed to ever be near my baby. He would never even have the chance to see the baby even after it’s born. I wished him well with Rita and their son and promised to forget him completely.
“But I have the right to see my baby and even bring him up. Are you nuts or something?”
“Once I am dead, you will have the rights. But as long as I am alive, the only rights you have is those of Rita and your son. I will know how well to bring up my baby” I retorted.
This would be the end of our story. A story of love and betrayal but a story that would later give me a a son. And Ben Clark would be his name. I banged the door as I left the room while Mike followed. But we would never meet again. Months later, I had got used to leaving without him and my belly kept on bulging. No one in my family would know it until the baby was born. If they have to skin me, I would let them do so after my baby had been born.And if they wished, they could as well skin both of us.
On the last quarter of my pregnancy, I got news that Rita and Mike had been having endless wrangles and during one of their many fights, Rita had stabbed Mike to death. She had later hang herself in their bedroom back home in Murang’a. And just like that, their son had been orphaned. Was I supposed to feel sorry for Mike Muruthi? Not at all. This was all that he deserved. He had paid for his mistakes but unfortunately his mistakes had affected their innocent baby. But no, I still have some shreds of humanity in me that deeply cares for him. Unfortunately, we can only meet in heaven and there I shall let him know that he is forgiven.